So……… I’m in with a patient who just had an accident (of the “I didn’t make it to the restroom in time” type of nature), helping her get to cleaned up. I left her room briefly and returned with some clean linens and she said, “You smell so good!” I thought to myself, “I wish I could return the gesture,” but in this case, not so much! I replied quickly with a “thank you” to curb the awkwardness.
Patient- “And you are so handsome!”
Male Nurse- “Thanks” (quickly).
Patient- “Does your fiancée tell you that?”
Male Nurse- *Shoulder shrugs* “I don’t know, sometimes, I guess.”
Patient- “Well she should! You look like that one singer!”
Male Nurse- “Which one?”
Patient- “The one that makes the sexy songs…… the one that got in trouble for messing with the underage girls!”
Male Nurse- “R Kelly?” (Whom I assure you, I look nothing like….. not even a play cousin)
Patient- “Uh huh, that’s him! Can you sing?”
Male Nurse-*Looks up to witness her smiling, with all of her teeth showing* “Alrighty, I think we’re done here! If you need anything else, you let me know!”
The situation- Male Psych Nurse in with a smiling, flirty, female patient, totally naked, and covered in bowel movement!!!
Speedy Gonzalez, Road Runner, The Flash, Quicksilver……
I’ve never worked so fast in my life!